Monday, November 10, 2008

All consuming love

To eat and to love, are they really all that different? This is a question posed several times in Till We Have Faces; from the sacrifice of Psyche to the Shadowbrute, to Orual's possessiveness of her sister, to the Queen's demands on the time and strength of both Bardia and the Fox. It goes against all the warm fuzzy feelings I associate with love to think of it as akin to the act of devouring. And yet, I must admit it is not that different to eat and to love.
For when we begin to eat something it is in order to satisfy a physical need, to fill a void, to reach contentment. When I seek to love, or more often to be loved by, someone it also satisfies a need, fills a void, and improves the quality of my life, at least for a time. This is perhaps why Lewis calls it Need-love, for there is no way to really rid oneself of the need. We must either ignore it or satisfy it. But we learn from Orual that true and ultimate satisfaction is unattainable, at least in regards to human lovers. Even when she is surest about another's love for her, she still seeks more. We also learn from Orual that to ignore the need for love is only to repress it, to bury it deeply and to subconsciously continue pursuing it even as you "suck the life" out of your victims. So what are we to do with this need for love?
As I made my way through the novel I cringed each time the ugly and distorted nature of Orual's devouring love was shown. I wanted to stop her, to show her, to guide her. But what would I have her do? What could I say to her that would open her eyes to the distortion of her love? What would someone have to say to me to make me aware of my own distorted affections? Is it really possible to alter your own feelings? I suppose if Orual could have seen her folly at the time she was committing it she may have changed her actions, but could she have truly altered her emotions? Would it have been possible for her to simply stop desiring to be loved? I suppose what I struggle with most is the idea of eliminating, not ignoring but actually destroying, a desire. Even if I see the distortion in my own love, I cannot convince myself that my desire to love or be loved is wrong. If I can I am still at loss for how I ought to rid myself of such a desire. How do you explain to someone who is hungry that it is wrong for them to eat?

2 comments:

rascal said...

I don't know if this works or not but I would try telling orule that what she is doing isn't really love. What orule is doing is selfish. I feel like true love wants nothing in return. Orule's actions make it obvious that all she wants is to be needed. This is not love. I don't know if this is the right Idea but its my idea. Orule probably wouldn't listen to me anyway.

betsydeglopper said...

I agree with Nick, what Orual is doing isn't love. She thinks it is, but love is wanting someone to be happy, and Psyche is happy. Orual is selfish.