Reflections on Charity

I have a confession to make. I discovered a very troubling truth about myself not so long ago that makes me ashamed to even think about. But here it is: I am a very judgmental person. I see someone for the first time, not knowing their name or anything about them, and automatically place them in a category; whether this be based on how they are dressed, how they articulate themselves, who they are around when I first see them - doesn't matter. And if I find something in that first glance that I don't like, I tend to write them off or, if forced to interact with them, to unintentionally treat them differently than I would if I didn't have that judgment about them.

This revelation has forced me to examine how I see the world around me. I came to college this year and told myself, "OK, clean slate. Whatever happened last year doesn't hold any influence this year. Keep your eyes open." And you know what? Some of those people who I had a so-so relationship with last year are becoming close friends this year, simply by my intentionally throwing out any previous biases or stereotypes I had placed on them.

The part in the chapter about Charity that really stuck out to me was this: "But Divine Gift-love in the man enables him to love what is not naturally lovable; lepers, criminals, enemies, morons, the sulky, the superior and the sneering" (p.128). God loved us before we were even born. We have been enveloped in an all-encompassing love since the day we were formed in our mothers' womb. We have been gifted an excess amount of love, and shouldn't hesitate to share that love with everyone around us; there is more than enough of God's love to go around. We don't have time to waste on avoiding someone simply because they don't seem loveable by us.

While I am judgmental, I am also an insufferable optimist. My friends know that when they come to me with complaints that yes, I'll sympathize, but also (much to their annoyance) have a statement that begins with "It could always be worse . . .". I realize that my optimistic attitude directly clashes with my judgmental attitude. How can I say I am an optimist if I can't find something good in everyone rather than focus on first impressions?

I guess the point of all of this was to say that Lewis' thoughts about Charity have caused me to reflect on the fact that I seem to ration out my giving because of ultimately irrelevant reasons. God loved me before I even knew Him - in times when I was completely unloveable by any other standards, He loved me completely. Who am I to withhold my love for others simply because they don't measure up to my standards?