Yes, I am that Bad

The Problem of Pain is a work that, much like its author, can be read, interpreted and applied on a number of levels. In one sense it is a work of theology that makes value judgments, claims and suppositions regarding the nature of God, the Fall of Man, the meaning of good and evil, and the like. If I were so inclined, I would pose a theological argument in opposition to Lewis' views on the aforementioned. I might be playing devil's advocate or I might actually disagree with him, but since I am no theologian it doesn't really matter.
If I had the ability to really grasp propositions and follow the logic of philosophical arguments, I would attempt to posit my own critique of Lewis's philosophical claims. I would dissect his argument for the existence of God or point out the holes in his explanation of the existence of evil, but I am no philosopher, which makes my aspirations null and void.
I am a writer, and as a writer I am amazed at the literary talents of C.S. Lewis. Even when I don't necessarily agree with what he says I delight in the way that he says it. When I do agree with him, the combination of truth and skillful writing resonates within me. Such was the case when I read his description of guilt and considered my own depravity.
"Much, we may feel, can be excused to human infirmities: but not this-this incredibly mean and ugly action which none of our friends would have done, which even such a thorough-going little rotter as X would have been ashamed of, which we would not for the world allow to be published. At such a moment we really do know that our character, as revealed in this actions, is, and ought to be, hateful to all good men, and, if there are powers above man, to them."
I love and hate this passage, for it is so vivid and accurate that I cannot deny its truth. I am X. No, I am even worse. I am the worst of sinners and there is no psychological or social excuse for my own actions and depravity. It is remarkable how many excuses we make for our actions, how readily we blame our culture, our parents, our upbringing or our ignorance. We are not innocent beings or victims of circumstance. Truly we are wicked people who have learned well how to deceive ourselves out of experiencing the guilt that ought to come from our selfish actions. Can we really blame God for the problem of pain when we, who were created with the potential to remain perfect, have fallen to such depths? Perhaps, as Lewis suggests, pain is a necessary means of restoring us to what we were originally created to be.